trying to look at the positive side

its been a week already, not talking to you.
when ever im with my bestfriend, he always talks about his sis.
i pretend to listen, pretend to know, pretend to act like nothing.
All this pretending, acting, lying towards myself.
I just realized i cannot go on like this denying about the truth.
Some came to comfort me,
i really do appreciate.

Some told me to forget about her, and look what's more to come.
But one told me to talk/chat to/with her,
''since she's the reason that you emo, she's the person to comfort you''

well i did the first move to start a conversation in skype chat.
all i do was asking how is her tongue piercing.
a very non interested conversation.
and this time,
i went offline without her knowing.
haha
childish, but yeah, that's what you always do to me.
i just did that 1 time out of the 10's

i couldn't chat much with her,
the poison is reacting with poison?
how sour can it be ?
it just tingles just like pouring salt water on your wound.
i told my bestfriend not to mentioned her name infront of me.
cause it hurts, so much.

even that lil bit.

everytime i see her online on my list,
i always over-reacted, that's normally when im alone.
so restless, feeling really tired.
i checked my twitter,
all i see is her tweet but none of others that attract
my attention to click on theirs.

the worst thing is,
everytime i click on her link,
i always see things that made me feel so darn fucking hurtt
like :" ahhhhh !!! fucking hurt arr !!!!!"
at times i just want to sleep away till this problem goes away.
but it seems that i just cant,
somehow it did'nt affect me when im out to college,
not much.
maybe just a lill, but you still see me smiling.

i used my whole day cleaning my beloved bike,
just a matter of trying to think something else than emo-ing about her.
i need a distraction,
i need to work,
i need a life !