all i wanted was you

as clearly stated, all i wanted was you

i really miss the vacation that we all had,
the moment of being there with you,
the time where everyone was really happy.

Today, i felt really sad, was really hoping that i can be a little bit
happier than yesterday.
But it seems that im the only person among all of them,
not knowing the truth about her.
Friends around me had been trying to hide the secret about it,
and not letting me to know.
i just realized that i just rammed into a thick hard wall.

Therefore, as an action, always have a reaction.
Today, she went to pierce her tongue with my best friend in KL.
i really hope she does'nt get her tongue done.
honestly i dont find it cute or attractive either.
ITS UGLY ! what the fuck is that in your tongue ?
Throughout her outing, based on my understanding of my bestfriend,
he must have told her that i was being emotionally unstable,
since i cycled around the park like a mad man from 3am till 7am

I always been feeling that cycling is something that i can unleash
my anger and madness, by just making myself feeling tired and worked up.
i was'nt really satisfy about things going on.
i do really hope that guy she like, was actually me..
When i clicked on her twitter,
her recent tweet was '' Damn.. you're maturity level is so low.''
its pretty sensitive that,
that comment really hurts me more than i ever expect.
i did'nt want to ask and did'nt want to know about it either.

as i was waiting for my friends to take me out for dinner.
i went emo again after i read that post.
through out the night outing with my friends,
i was miserable and disapointed about myself that shit happens from her.
i felt sad that, she have to avoid me just to make her feel things are better
as the same way for me.

i really hope and pray that, these are the acts of the cycle called
KARMA
what goes around comes around.
for all the evil deeds i've done,
well i should make myself to pay them back,
as long as i dont fuck it up again.
i'll rather to pay it now,
than paying it back later; to suffer now than suffer later.

hmm look at the bright side.
at least i still have brothers around me that supports me.
but i would like to grow up more,
celebrate the holidays with the one that i love and treasure the most.
someone special.

haihh i should be keeping all these feelings towards her in a bottle and,
just have to accept the fact that
if the person is meant to be with you, then so be it,
like wise, if she's not yours, then she's never gonna be with you
cant force a person to love you,
its never sincere when it comes to force.
all i can do is,
do best in my part,
let fate decide,
just make the right decision.


talks to oneself : " SAM ! DONT EMO ANYMORE ! "