one step forward, and you cant turn back

its been 5 days counting back from the day

the day that i receive so much pain from an indirect rejection from you.
I met up with my best friend,
he told me that he told me about the truth,
basically, she doesn't want me to know about the truth,
i guess maybe she still wants me to treat her as a friend,
wants me to talk to her still,
but now,
i guess the awkward moment really starts to kick in.
depress and disapointed are all im feeling.

As usual, i went cycling today with brian.
made a few jumps, with my bike, which named after her.
that was the moment where i dont really
give a damn about things that happen around me in reality.
Honestly, i was really really hoping that we at least dont feel
uneasy and all, but things had made me feel extra shit up.
i really really want to talk to you.

but the topics that we have are really limited already.
my inner concious tells me not to care or deal with you anymore.
its not really taking my life away, but at the same time its torturing.
i need to make a decision !
i cant say i love her, but i like her.
its a crush, that's all
that's what other people will always say,
stop being a pussy and shit.

well spell h.u.r.t
that's all i am feeling for this week,
please let this feeling go away as i crash or fall.
right now, i really hope i have a really good bike
to head to off road and do all the jumps and tricks.
UMF is all i am thinking right now