the day

well im back out of no where , just have to say that i am sweating right now and using my friend's pc ^^ ... um somehow my boss knew about that incident for using the company's computer to surf online . i kinda got scolded by him but not that serious. anyway working life have been a lil ups and downs .

friends kinda get sacked because of doing something stupid.. hmm i wonder why they will do that , just hope the fault will not come to me .. my boss told me not to do something that will make myself believe people easily . umm kinda disapointed that she will do that , but who cares ?? i have my life , and i help her enough =.=

i just follow what did the boss order me to , i mean its working life u know ?? just live with it , its not like i will do something so dumb and acting infront of everybody . its just me , i just don't understand at all .

i felt that the job do suits me , but its just the salary does'nt keep me satisfy at all .i so wanted to change job , but where else can i find a job with so much of fun in it ?? i have great friends like my boss and my supervisor and also my staffs too ^^ well other places have more political stuffs going on =.=
i so wanted to see some of my classmates =( but i still did'nt miss school yet blek =p haha


well on valentines haihh , before that night i wanna give something that resembles my appreciation deep down from my heart . she is that someone that makes me feel comfortable when i am together with her . that night before valentines -.- i thought of giving up on her , its because i am afraid that i will not control myself and go emotional till the extreme =( i always think a lot and wild and uncontrollable thoughts and imagination . perhaps this is something that i really have to change . i and her were working same shift on that day itself . she looks more emotional and nervous in the morning . she did'nt tell me what's going on , but soemone told me that a guy already have confessed to her before valentines day , hmm i guess he is someone idiot , i mean ''come on '' its so darn early and such a wrong moment man !! hmm i guess i am the second guy who wants to show my feelings on her but i cant . i have a work to hang on for months =( its very painful inside , just have to wait till she officially stop her work -.-
anyway the gift that i gave her is something really special and its totally original that no one dares to think about it than using money to buy gifts like flowers and chocolates haih

i made her something , well of course im not gonna tell u guys here , umm if u are lucky and u know her , just ask her and see how's her attitude . i can say that she will just trying to act like nothing happen and nothing shaken her heart at all . i guess that this is the bad side of her ?? i somehow just know that she felt it and she just dun wan to face it ?? damnn it man , why dont you just realise and accept it ?? i mean i am not desperate , just that who else do u want ?? i rather just do anything just to achieve my target and my goal . i know these kind of feelings cannot be shown by just money but to me every relationship is very special and precious . just accept that u are different than the ones in my life ok ??

i dunno whether do u know me writing about you but , i can say that at times i dunno whether to hate you or not ?? its just that u told me that u wanna change the way u are , but u are avoiding me and trying to keep away from me that badly .. i mean when it is working , and yeahh u are serious . we are all nearly 18 and feeling of liking someone will be getting stronger and stronger . i dun wan to share too much .. who knows no one will read it ?? hmm hmm i wonder
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