its been a year and a half

i hav'nt been updating this blog for a while, ever since... hmmm i dont know..
Many things have changed.
Well i dont know if there will be anyone still keep track of my blog and all
but..
That does'nt really matters.
These days, i've been feeling extremely down due to
the stuffs been happening to me.
Firstly .. is ..
i hav'nt been going after a girl that i like for like.. years ??
till that day, when i was waiting for a friend to pick me up.
i was really surprised when i open the door. realizing that
i never thought of seeing her again.
its the same feeling that had towards her back in the days when im in form 1.
Day by day and week by week, we've talk and chat on msn and we texted.
I felt the feeling of talking to her makes my day brighter and brighter,
i never felt this happy before...
so.. i decided to make a move forward a lill just to see if things improve that the way it was..
i wonder its either am i thinking too much or its just the fact
that she just treat me like a normal friend ?
this question haunts me every single night before i close my eyes and get to sleep
i know it sounds like im not understanding and all but yeah
you're having your exams and all, waiting its not a problem to me
some said im loyal some said im stupid,
but hey..
if its worth it, go for it ! tat's what they say..
its painful yet, i dont know? hmm maybe its just falling in love with you
its just a price to pay ?

Recently, i've been trying to change myself so much.
i've set target and goals for my 2 years plan.
i decided to get a better life and earn to get my first car.
Just so you know that i dont like to be too dependant to my family,
therefore i went to look for a part time job.
My friend's uncle happen to open an ice cream shop near the mall.
and my friend is working, having an incredible pay.
i thought of like, if i asked, maybe i'll get the same rate as him.
so, i went through the interview and all
and i did not know the his pay is actually i confidential thing.
some said its not harm to ask, and i dont like to point out names
Then yesterday night, i was being called and i'm ''officially'' employed
just being clear about my pay, i asked
It did'nt turn out to be what i've expected.
The employer tend to conclude my friend tend to tell me about his pay,
where as the actually the its his nephew who told me about it.

It almost started a fight/arguement.
That really hits me in the head, since last year or two,
i was facing the same thing with my best friend back then.
i was being a bitch about money than seeing what's more
valuable than a friendship.
but yeah long story cut short.
i talked to him about it.
and it went cool and all..
i aint wanna lose another friend in my life, its just too pain to handle.

When i got back home, i felt sad yet proud and happy about the things that i've done.
thought about it, maybe i've grown through shits happening around me.
some said experience ?
some said obstacles ?
some said bad luck ?
well i said


its life, learn to deal with it,
but not to complain about it .