its me again , and with my new attitude , although i know there are still things happen around somewhere , but i am still a human being with a heart and a strong will. girls , haih girls . mostly guys are sad and live becoz of girls. Girls treated me like trash , some treated me like god, some treated me like shit , a number of girls treat me like their best friends . well there are so many kinds , but each time i fall in love with one of them , this is always sad things happen to me .
it is either they are bored with me , or i am just too stupid or scared to make a move, but this time i really like a girl with my own heart , conflict happen but i manage to change it around . its a new me , and a new start , a new life . although i know she's been going out with someone . but i am feeling worry instead of angry and sad . i cant control everything , and cant control her doings and behaviour , i like wut she is and i like wut she is before and now , with all my heart .
somehow i feeling that i really hate myself for not doing enough , but as a friend there's limit and everything have a limit . maybe she gave a chance for me to kao her , but i still not ready for it , so im kind a fuck that chance , but i know my feelings are right , so i will still continue no matter what !! this is a promise to myself ! i will not let go so easily , i'll just back off if there is someone who wants to get u . i will know my limit , but i still cant make a move coz i know that i cant give happiness to u , nor protection or even conditional love or unconditional love . so i dun think i am ready physically or even mentally , well sorry to disapoint u .
guys i will gambateh ! i will get a career and a stable living then only i will go for u !! i will not regret de !! i will not make u wait so long !! i will fight for it as live is a war !!! i must get that victory to proove that i can do it ~
15 years ago
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