15 years ago
Saturday, September 27, 2008
saturday~
saturday morning , i've been awoke by a phone call
my friend harry gave me a wake up call
he rushed me , need some help
he drove me and his sister to ss2 , suppose to promote streamyx and celcom broadband
saw some mppj strolling there , we change location SO
we change location to TAMAN MEGAH
its already 10am and we planned to do the promotion thing in the morning market
BUT
its consider late , many aunties just go there and have a 5 minute shop for food ~
after that harry treated his sis and me for breakfast !! haha dimsum !!
kind a full after that , i reach home with that mood of mine ~
maybe sales is what harry have trainned me , eventhough i know my art can't bring me that far ,but at least doing sales is my another route to success in life
my mum is doing sales too , but she is doing melilia , promoting something like direct-sales product .
she even told me to join her , but in my mind are HARMONY DRIVING ACADEMY & STREAMYX !!
but it will be even better to do more , since i got this experience haha
my mum already planned and sign my name in some buisness talk for tomorrow by the theme of '' being young and rich ''
she knows that i like doing sales heehee , but she wants me to learn from an experience billionaire haha , its gonna be a talk from 2pm - 6pm just hope i dun die of boredness XP a naughty boy like me can do anything to entertaint myself hehee
wish me luck for tomorrow >(00)<
my friend harry gave me a wake up call
he rushed me , need some help
he drove me and his sister to ss2 , suppose to promote streamyx and celcom broadband
saw some mppj strolling there , we change location SO
we change location to TAMAN MEGAH
its already 10am and we planned to do the promotion thing in the morning market
BUT
its consider late , many aunties just go there and have a 5 minute shop for food ~
after that harry treated his sis and me for breakfast !! haha dimsum !!
kind a full after that , i reach home with that mood of mine ~
maybe sales is what harry have trainned me , eventhough i know my art can't bring me that far ,but at least doing sales is my another route to success in life
my mum is doing sales too , but she is doing melilia , promoting something like direct-sales product .
she even told me to join her , but in my mind are HARMONY DRIVING ACADEMY & STREAMYX !!
but it will be even better to do more , since i got this experience haha
my mum already planned and sign my name in some buisness talk for tomorrow by the theme of '' being young and rich ''
she knows that i like doing sales heehee , but she wants me to learn from an experience billionaire haha , its gonna be a talk from 2pm - 6pm just hope i dun die of boredness XP a naughty boy like me can do anything to entertaint myself hehee
wish me luck for tomorrow >(00)<
Friday, September 26, 2008
mix feelings
today school was a mix up man , but it start out quite smooth beginning . as usual my classmates will bragg about stuff haha . its good to see my classmates again ^^ .
lots to talk about , and i manage to see her again ^^ its a nice feeling as if flowers bloom out of a piece of rotton land . its wonderfull.
it came out quite shy for my to talk to her again , but i will keep talking to her no matter what it takes . although yesterday my success for sales did'nt seem to make her a lil excited but i talked about it to her friends hmm ^^ it turn out that she wants to take driving together with me , its nice ^^ in my heart was like , FINALLY u've come to me and my driving heehee XD . all the hard work is paid off and its coming back
ping and i planned to watch horror movie in yuen's house but poh yee did'nt show up , dunno why she also never call us and inform us >.< so after school we are about to wait for yuen with cheauwei along , well suddenly ping felt that since poh yee did not come , so its kind a like lesser by one person , and she CANCELED it . kind a disapointed though . then ping saw en kane , all the way opposite of from where we've standing , then she is kind a looking and staring at him calling him leng chai this and leng chai that , heehee . its funny to see her reaction like that , i also hope to see her with her smile seriously brighten my day .
but at the other hand , i also cannot hide my feelings from her . seeing her happy its good , but wut is for me actually is very hurtful , well its my fault for not being the perfect guy in her eyes . sad thou , but what can i do ? i know that love cannot be forced . its just like wut my friend said to me , '' a pair of swan swimming on the lake peacefully and beautifully , but did u guys realize below the water ?? '' , '' its a very owfull scene , where hardwork is put in , as the pedal with their legs hard just to remain that beautifull of theirs on the water surface '' my feeling is just very pain , and hurt its just like a knife just stabb me out of no where . but i also got wish to forget you and just to forget that kind of pain but i just cant. why ?? everyday and every momment with myself alone , im just thinking about you . cant sleep because i am thinking of my faults , and mistakes and also wuts wrong with you being so quiet , that always reflects me as being a bad person ??
To her '' i know liking u in the first place is wrong , cause i know u like that person very long . but one thing i want you to know that the moment we have together as friends is something that a feeling which is growing inside me because of ur existance and ur smile , your smile and trust is so powerful to me . i really love it , although it is not visible for ur trust but my feelings are telling me everytime . just most of the things reminds me of you , it will be a hard stage for me to let you go , but i just cannot do that so easily . it is because i really deeply fallen in love with you ''
wut can i do to make things better ?? i admit i am dumb at times , im not that sweet kind of guy that everyone is thinking about . just like i said i am not perfect like the person that u are admiring =( but everytime i see him , i would like him to be my role model . seems like he is perfect , a 5 star leng chai to girls but i also got good points heehee ^^ im also not that sucky le ~
after art lessons , my art teacher free us out of the class early , so we went to the canteen , suppose we are very early , so i've met my school most annoying discipline teacher , owhh man he is a fuck off man . i just hate him . (ook i'll cut if short ) he told me and some of my friends to go back to class , so like i just did , i follow his instructions , i walk back to class . so he yell at me and he came and chase me like a darn ass dog well i pitty him for being such an ass in school .
He drag me to the office where all the big heads of the school were . i went in as if i am going in to my toilet , well its just a lil coozy inside there ,i talk to his boss the head of the department of discipline , << it sucks , she just get promoted , but still a kind teacher . i knew her so she knows my style , baggy long pants with a rotten end with the shoe , and long hair heehee my style and a lil attitude with teachers . she gave me a warning letter for the things that i've done but its nothing actually . encik siva (a really dog-behaved)- discipline teacher , which runs his job like a waiter in indian stores >.< yet still i pitty him he have to ask for permission for caining me haih i wonder those days whether is he getting enough of student banging him down from his motorcycle haha . after talking to that ''encik siva '' his boss talked to me politely since we've known each other since when i am form 4 haha so its one years ffriend heeheee , still she did not disapoint me for talking to me like dat . but she let me off
after thinking about that lucky i am the one who is being caught by the feller , coz she was there in the canteen too , i dun wan her to take blame . So i was the one who is sacrifice for her , and only her in my heart . i dun wan her to take any mistakes so i take the blame for her and for those who are innocent . some how i think it is very worth it .
so i walked back and it rains , seeing the girl that i like, rushing home with the rain , im just so worried for her , i hope she did'nt get sick , coz i really care about her ~ and if she gets sick i will feel pain in my heart .
dun get sick yeah , coz i really concern that very much although it is just a small matter but it will cost my life to feel it together with u and i always think about u
lots to talk about , and i manage to see her again ^^ its a nice feeling as if flowers bloom out of a piece of rotton land . its wonderfull.
it came out quite shy for my to talk to her again , but i will keep talking to her no matter what it takes . although yesterday my success for sales did'nt seem to make her a lil excited but i talked about it to her friends hmm ^^ it turn out that she wants to take driving together with me , its nice ^^ in my heart was like , FINALLY u've come to me and my driving heehee XD . all the hard work is paid off and its coming back
ping and i planned to watch horror movie in yuen's house but poh yee did'nt show up , dunno why she also never call us and inform us >.< so after school we are about to wait for yuen with cheauwei along , well suddenly ping felt that since poh yee did not come , so its kind a like lesser by one person , and she CANCELED it . kind a disapointed though . then ping saw en kane , all the way opposite of from where we've standing , then she is kind a looking and staring at him calling him leng chai this and leng chai that , heehee . its funny to see her reaction like that , i also hope to see her with her smile seriously brighten my day .
but at the other hand , i also cannot hide my feelings from her . seeing her happy its good , but wut is for me actually is very hurtful , well its my fault for not being the perfect guy in her eyes . sad thou , but what can i do ? i know that love cannot be forced . its just like wut my friend said to me , '' a pair of swan swimming on the lake peacefully and beautifully , but did u guys realize below the water ?? '' , '' its a very owfull scene , where hardwork is put in , as the pedal with their legs hard just to remain that beautifull of theirs on the water surface '' my feeling is just very pain , and hurt its just like a knife just stabb me out of no where . but i also got wish to forget you and just to forget that kind of pain but i just cant. why ?? everyday and every momment with myself alone , im just thinking about you . cant sleep because i am thinking of my faults , and mistakes and also wuts wrong with you being so quiet , that always reflects me as being a bad person ??
To her '' i know liking u in the first place is wrong , cause i know u like that person very long . but one thing i want you to know that the moment we have together as friends is something that a feeling which is growing inside me because of ur existance and ur smile , your smile and trust is so powerful to me . i really love it , although it is not visible for ur trust but my feelings are telling me everytime . just most of the things reminds me of you , it will be a hard stage for me to let you go , but i just cannot do that so easily . it is because i really deeply fallen in love with you ''
wut can i do to make things better ?? i admit i am dumb at times , im not that sweet kind of guy that everyone is thinking about . just like i said i am not perfect like the person that u are admiring =( but everytime i see him , i would like him to be my role model . seems like he is perfect , a 5 star leng chai to girls but i also got good points heehee ^^ im also not that sucky le ~
after art lessons , my art teacher free us out of the class early , so we went to the canteen , suppose we are very early , so i've met my school most annoying discipline teacher , owhh man he is a fuck off man . i just hate him . (ook i'll cut if short ) he told me and some of my friends to go back to class , so like i just did , i follow his instructions , i walk back to class . so he yell at me and he came and chase me like a darn ass dog well i pitty him for being such an ass in school .
He drag me to the office where all the big heads of the school were . i went in as if i am going in to my toilet , well its just a lil coozy inside there ,i talk to his boss the head of the department of discipline , << it sucks , she just get promoted , but still a kind teacher . i knew her so she knows my style , baggy long pants with a rotten end with the shoe , and long hair heehee my style and a lil attitude with teachers . she gave me a warning letter for the things that i've done but its nothing actually . encik siva (a really dog-behaved)- discipline teacher , which runs his job like a waiter in indian stores >.< yet still i pitty him he have to ask for permission for caining me haih i wonder those days whether is he getting enough of student banging him down from his motorcycle haha . after talking to that ''encik siva '' his boss talked to me politely since we've known each other since when i am form 4 haha so its one years ffriend heeheee , still she did not disapoint me for talking to me like dat . but she let me off
after thinking about that lucky i am the one who is being caught by the feller , coz she was there in the canteen too , i dun wan her to take blame . So i was the one who is sacrifice for her , and only her in my heart . i dun wan her to take any mistakes so i take the blame for her and for those who are innocent . some how i think it is very worth it .
so i walked back and it rains , seeing the girl that i like, rushing home with the rain , im just so worried for her , i hope she did'nt get sick , coz i really care about her ~ and if she gets sick i will feel pain in my heart .
dun get sick yeah , coz i really concern that very much although it is just a small matter but it will cost my life to feel it together with u and i always think about u
Thursday, September 25, 2008
close a sales ??
yeah !! finally i've close a sales man !! commision rm30 !! haha , i smsed a few people , well my friend harry congratz me , but one thing that did'nt made me happy is , you . cause when i messeged u , u dun probably care =( well its ok .
maybe i messeged u wrong time ?? gomenasai (sorry) ermm i will do better next time . well really hope u have fun with ur mum ^^ hope i am not bugging u >.< but its seriously very happy when i close sales = ) , i hope i can share with someone who i think who is my part of my life ^^
im happy after i left with my commission !! heehee cycle back home smiling heehee
maybe i messeged u wrong time ?? gomenasai (sorry) ermm i will do better next time . well really hope u have fun with ur mum ^^ hope i am not bugging u >.< but its seriously very happy when i close sales = ) , i hope i can share with someone who i think who is my part of my life ^^
im happy after i left with my commission !! heehee cycle back home smiling heehee
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
a bomb of change out of my head and thoughts about u
since i know edi , its hard i know . well i will give my turn one more chance to make it up to u . somehow i've forgotten how to talk , ermm i felt that i need to make a change at there . cheauwei said that i use to be talkative but recently mature edi ma , so i talk lesser and lesser fun but i will still try and give it out man ^^
but when things change i would like to be the first to know that the last to realise , coz i doubt whether am i a really close friend with u , the things i do is really from the bottom from my heart one , im not acting or not doing anything to win anything except for the truth la coz i hate rumours and i really seek for it and solve it just like how i solve this misunderstanding , but intend , no need to explain to u . its just a lil difficulty to express myself these days .
yet i still try to act like nothing happen , trying to be the happy me and also trying to avoid everything that can make me feel sad about u , but still i will move on as life goes on and move ahead . XP
i will treat u better and i hope our friendship will be more stronger than yesterday ^^ and also thanks to zinia and cheauwei haha
but when things change i would like to be the first to know that the last to realise , coz i doubt whether am i a really close friend with u , the things i do is really from the bottom from my heart one , im not acting or not doing anything to win anything except for the truth la coz i hate rumours and i really seek for it and solve it just like how i solve this misunderstanding , but intend , no need to explain to u . its just a lil difficulty to express myself these days .
yet i still try to act like nothing happen , trying to be the happy me and also trying to avoid everything that can make me feel sad about u , but still i will move on as life goes on and move ahead . XP
i will treat u better and i hope our friendship will be more stronger than yesterday ^^ and also thanks to zinia and cheauwei haha
its a promise between us
a promise for me to her
2 weeks dun talk to the person on msn ! although she dun choi me edi , but still my mind still got her ne , but only 2 weeks dun talk to her , it will be better dun talk to her face to face , but if i cannot tahan , well as long as i dun talk to her on msn .
your sincerely and the one and only kingsum XD
2 weeks man !! i wan to really think le , 2 weeks later only take decision
but something hit me back again, i have this feeling that i will not follow de haha , i will still talk to her haha since those things that she is hearing from other people . well haha i know wut she know haha , but i memang not this kind of person ma . im happy coz u are trusting me again , but seriously i memang nothing de
2 weeks dun talk to the person on msn ! although she dun choi me edi , but still my mind still got her ne , but only 2 weeks dun talk to her , it will be better dun talk to her face to face , but if i cannot tahan , well as long as i dun talk to her on msn .
your sincerely and the one and only kingsum XD
2 weeks man !! i wan to really think le , 2 weeks later only take decision
but something hit me back again, i have this feeling that i will not follow de haha , i will still talk to her haha since those things that she is hearing from other people . well haha i know wut she know haha , but i memang not this kind of person ma . im happy coz u are trusting me again , but seriously i memang nothing de
Monday, September 22, 2008
finally happy
today , felt very happy haha , sat with cheauwei , cheaurou haha and also kar kay >.< well its nice to have pizza with so many people haha , its fun muahahahaaa
today is also the only day that i did'nt think of anything extra , feeling very happy during classs , i was knocked out for one hour and did'nt notice about it , no one wake me up , my indian friend told me that i sleep like a ghost .
after school i've eaten pizza's well dunno how many i've eaten , but got food dun waste .
being a good boy is good haha and i felt really better today.
after that , i cycle back uphill to my house ^^ its a hot day , well what can i do ?? i'll just have to drink lots of water to stay healthy
today is also the only day that i did'nt think of anything extra , feeling very happy during classs , i was knocked out for one hour and did'nt notice about it , no one wake me up , my indian friend told me that i sleep like a ghost .
after school i've eaten pizza's well dunno how many i've eaten , but got food dun waste .
being a good boy is good haha and i felt really better today.
after that , i cycle back uphill to my house ^^ its a hot day , well what can i do ?? i'll just have to drink lots of water to stay healthy
miss or not miss , care or no care
its me again , and with my new attitude , although i know there are still things happen around somewhere , but i am still a human being with a heart and a strong will. girls , haih girls . mostly guys are sad and live becoz of girls. Girls treated me like trash , some treated me like god, some treated me like shit , a number of girls treat me like their best friends . well there are so many kinds , but each time i fall in love with one of them , this is always sad things happen to me .
it is either they are bored with me , or i am just too stupid or scared to make a move, but this time i really like a girl with my own heart , conflict happen but i manage to change it around . its a new me , and a new start , a new life . although i know she's been going out with someone . but i am feeling worry instead of angry and sad . i cant control everything , and cant control her doings and behaviour , i like wut she is and i like wut she is before and now , with all my heart .
somehow i feeling that i really hate myself for not doing enough , but as a friend there's limit and everything have a limit . maybe she gave a chance for me to kao her , but i still not ready for it , so im kind a fuck that chance , but i know my feelings are right , so i will still continue no matter what !! this is a promise to myself ! i will not let go so easily , i'll just back off if there is someone who wants to get u . i will know my limit , but i still cant make a move coz i know that i cant give happiness to u , nor protection or even conditional love or unconditional love . so i dun think i am ready physically or even mentally , well sorry to disapoint u .
guys i will gambateh ! i will get a career and a stable living then only i will go for u !! i will not regret de !! i will not make u wait so long !! i will fight for it as live is a war !!! i must get that victory to proove that i can do it ~
it is either they are bored with me , or i am just too stupid or scared to make a move, but this time i really like a girl with my own heart , conflict happen but i manage to change it around . its a new me , and a new start , a new life . although i know she's been going out with someone . but i am feeling worry instead of angry and sad . i cant control everything , and cant control her doings and behaviour , i like wut she is and i like wut she is before and now , with all my heart .
somehow i feeling that i really hate myself for not doing enough , but as a friend there's limit and everything have a limit . maybe she gave a chance for me to kao her , but i still not ready for it , so im kind a fuck that chance , but i know my feelings are right , so i will still continue no matter what !! this is a promise to myself ! i will not let go so easily , i'll just back off if there is someone who wants to get u . i will know my limit , but i still cant make a move coz i know that i cant give happiness to u , nor protection or even conditional love or unconditional love . so i dun think i am ready physically or even mentally , well sorry to disapoint u .
guys i will gambateh ! i will get a career and a stable living then only i will go for u !! i will not regret de !! i will not make u wait so long !! i will fight for it as live is a war !!! i must get that victory to proove that i can do it ~
Sunday, September 21, 2008
my feelings ~
well this is me , my expression for tonight
i seriously trust myself , than rumours
if rumours still remains
no matter how close ur friendship , best friends will not be best friends , if rumours are believe blindly
so trust yourself first , and get to know the TRUTH , so that u will not lose a best friend ^^
Saturday, September 20, 2008
i miss myself in 2007
its me 2007 midyear ~
nothing else just felt that i've change so much haha but i stilll like my previous appearance haha but it was all came to an end
i bet the new me will be a better looking and a better person , and good attitude too ^^
nothing else just felt that i've change so much haha but i stilll like my previous appearance haha but it was all came to an end
i bet the new me will be a better looking and a better person , and good attitude too ^^
Friday, September 19, 2008
cooling time ~
DAMN, time passes by real fast . days go by , things are getting chilling . after hardcore session with bk , i felt real comfortable , and happier.
After hardcore talking , i rushed to OU to meet up with ping and friends , haha and yuen's mum haha . Cool people , those are the people that i wan to mix with haha , damn crazy but fun haha comfortable . pizza session , PIZZA MADNESS !! woohoo damn crazy , lost counted of how my pieces haha , but we manage to wack the pizzza in our stomach ^^
haha 23th september another pizza war for me haha !im gonna wack all again haha !!
my conclusion is , when a person is a truth seeker like me , he will seek out rumours and the cause of the rumours untill the can find the root of the truth XP
After hardcore talking , i rushed to OU to meet up with ping and friends , haha and yuen's mum haha . Cool people , those are the people that i wan to mix with haha , damn crazy but fun haha comfortable . pizza session , PIZZA MADNESS !! woohoo damn crazy , lost counted of how my pieces haha , but we manage to wack the pizzza in our stomach ^^
haha 23th september another pizza war for me haha !im gonna wack all again haha !!
my conclusion is , when a person is a truth seeker like me , he will seek out rumours and the cause of the rumours untill the can find the root of the truth XP
Thursday, September 18, 2008
game over [D5] short time ? satistfy ?
well after that courage of mine went in my head , i guess i turn this game around . somehow my friends told me after the talk with the person who willing confess himself. so i've got to say that u've done a good job , but time is everything for the recovery and people thinks about ur impression too although u keep it well , but i did'nt win anything at all .
but one thing that i won is the TRUTH , the truth between the jelousness and all that scene behind me . u've done more than a friend , so i just say that u've done too much , which will make people feel suspicious. i've learnt lots of things from this case. felt relief about it . and i suppose u too .
things should be this way , when u know about the truth , u will solve the problem and do not even include any girls or guys that the person like , just come and ask straight , do not hide and backstabb and talk bad behind , its not great at all. although i change this drama just 5 days , well consider very chilling and pro already , felt that my thinking had grown lot of level and stages in one day .
although u've said that im childish before , but its just a cover of mine , i guess i blow it and made u shocked , well presenting the new me . I expected u will have this feeling , its just natural , just u answering me questions and i know which is lie and which is from the heart. lucky i've complete things this way . i hope this is over for the rest of my life .
coz its too political ! and a surprise for myself , i've help myself to become stronger even in tears and memories of sorrow . that moment is really dark and lonely. but one thing is i dun trust anyone , anymore not even my family , the success road is a lonely path for every human being and i know that friends are just another noun for betrayers , i dun buy that anymore . u're lucky that u've never met my bad side of me , cuz u dun wan it to happen , dun let me hear anything from u , cuz i will be stronger and stronger everyday
but one thing that i won is the TRUTH , the truth between the jelousness and all that scene behind me . u've done more than a friend , so i just say that u've done too much , which will make people feel suspicious. i've learnt lots of things from this case. felt relief about it . and i suppose u too .
things should be this way , when u know about the truth , u will solve the problem and do not even include any girls or guys that the person like , just come and ask straight , do not hide and backstabb and talk bad behind , its not great at all. although i change this drama just 5 days , well consider very chilling and pro already , felt that my thinking had grown lot of level and stages in one day .
although u've said that im childish before , but its just a cover of mine , i guess i blow it and made u shocked , well presenting the new me . I expected u will have this feeling , its just natural , just u answering me questions and i know which is lie and which is from the heart. lucky i've complete things this way . i hope this is over for the rest of my life .
coz its too political ! and a surprise for myself , i've help myself to become stronger even in tears and memories of sorrow . that moment is really dark and lonely. but one thing is i dun trust anyone , anymore not even my family , the success road is a lonely path for every human being and i know that friends are just another noun for betrayers , i dun buy that anymore . u're lucky that u've never met my bad side of me , cuz u dun wan it to happen , dun let me hear anything from u , cuz i will be stronger and stronger everyday
Monday, September 15, 2008
my happy ending ~ its just starting baby
so much for my happy ending , well i guess not , the real my just rise.
u think u got friends support?? well i tell u its just a matter of time.
i will proove it to everyone , im the person that u think i am ??
haha infact , the way u looks sad ?? i feel damn 7 happy !
stronger than ever , no one can beat me down ~
well try me i will be sad to see u being such person, all along i see u wrongly
judge with all u can , coz if u think that threatening her is wat u can do ? well guess again ! i am not that kind of guy right now , since u can do that , i can do better but i dun wan coz i dun wan to become another jerk like u , the ''mastermind'' behind all cases
u think u got friends support?? well i tell u its just a matter of time.
i will proove it to everyone , im the person that u think i am ??
haha infact , the way u looks sad ?? i feel damn 7 happy !
stronger than ever , no one can beat me down ~
well try me i will be sad to see u being such person, all along i see u wrongly
judge with all u can , coz if u think that threatening her is wat u can do ? well guess again ! i am not that kind of guy right now , since u can do that , i can do better but i dun wan coz i dun wan to become another jerk like u , the ''mastermind'' behind all cases
turn it up ! 5 minutes to midnight!! you're coming home with me tonight !
woohoo , sept 14 pass , im back brand new again.
im feeling great and loving it.
haha well off to books and facts to remember ^^
well time is precious , gonna make it up for you .. you will see my journey starts !
im feeling great and loving it.
haha well off to books and facts to remember ^^
well time is precious , gonna make it up for you .. you will see my journey starts !
Sunday, September 14, 2008
D2 begun
everything flashes back just the night yesterday , very bitter , as if it was like watching a drama scene. skiped school early this morning , too tired , so many things to think last night , the cause and effects , mostly all are negative signs , try to explain ?? i dun think so , its hard since there's nothing between in this thread of frienship.
the existance is really making me sick day by day . i can't really control , but somehow have to . to get hold of myself , i excercise everyday , rather than emo. i just wan to get my mind on the target that i've set. kind a like a diverge from the past. well sam gets reality , its gets better when u think something positive. enough ENOUGH of pain stalking things , GOTTA STOP IT.
lastly but not last , i will blame myself , all along . for not being the person that everybody is thinking , go on think wat u wan . as long as i am happy with it , but it sounds so rediculous , i just want to find a way that i can express myself towards something that can't spread out secrets , i hope that the person or the thing will appear in mylife and can make myself feel better day by day , hopefully this hole of mine or scar will heal but i know medicine cant heal that fast , coz it hurts alot perhaps a scar in my life
the existance is really making me sick day by day . i can't really control , but somehow have to . to get hold of myself , i excercise everyday , rather than emo. i just wan to get my mind on the target that i've set. kind a like a diverge from the past. well sam gets reality , its gets better when u think something positive. enough ENOUGH of pain stalking things , GOTTA STOP IT.
lastly but not last , i will blame myself , all along . for not being the person that everybody is thinking , go on think wat u wan . as long as i am happy with it , but it sounds so rediculous , i just want to find a way that i can express myself towards something that can't spread out secrets , i hope that the person or the thing will appear in mylife and can make myself feel better day by day , hopefully this hole of mine or scar will heal but i know medicine cant heal that fast , coz it hurts alot perhaps a scar in my life
mooncake festival ? lonely ?
today suppose to be a nice night for romantic couples , and lovely family love feeling. but what do i have ?? nothing , i have none not even a family love , lonely ?? yeah i felt that once , infact , i feel it when i am writing this post.
problems lately , just so many of them , brainstorm till i can die , too much too many , too many drama lots of stuff. maybe i mature already , too many things have to handle . seriously i hope if i can explode like those days , but seem can't. i cry in the middle of the night , calling out for help . there's no one , no reply , none . emoness in the dark , always find myself eyes swollen by the next day , not enough sleep , disturbia , last time use to be very relaxing.
now i dun find myself like me anymore , not anymore. friends ?? trust ?? guess wat ? i dun wan to be a good guy from today onwards , maybe evil or devil ermm seems which one is better ?? darknesss all over me , found the long lost me , haha my imaginary self just like the one in that anime which the guy found back him ownself can became stronger. well i hope i can be someone like dat , perhaps even more evil and more hate in my mind . i dun see love anymore , not even a bright sky , judgement is made by rumours and fucking fake trust is made by lifeless faggat and guess wat ?? people believe it and they feel happy for it
well wat for being played like this ? i dun wan to be in this way anymore , being a whole time loser ? or seeing who is gonna be the best loser ? day by day the feeling will come back to me , sooner or later i will meet him , he will teach me anything that i wan to learn ........
i cant draw anymore , the touch of that talent is slowly getting away from me , i cant draw .. sooner or later i will not use my name as SAM LAU KING SUM , or im not gonna care wat people call me by names , i just dun wan to admit and i am always alone. there's no light or laughter just that the things that i do will not success , why ?? i keep asking and asking , but yet i still cannot find the answer
problems lately , just so many of them , brainstorm till i can die , too much too many , too many drama lots of stuff. maybe i mature already , too many things have to handle . seriously i hope if i can explode like those days , but seem can't. i cry in the middle of the night , calling out for help . there's no one , no reply , none . emoness in the dark , always find myself eyes swollen by the next day , not enough sleep , disturbia , last time use to be very relaxing.
now i dun find myself like me anymore , not anymore. friends ?? trust ?? guess wat ? i dun wan to be a good guy from today onwards , maybe evil or devil ermm seems which one is better ?? darknesss all over me , found the long lost me , haha my imaginary self just like the one in that anime which the guy found back him ownself can became stronger. well i hope i can be someone like dat , perhaps even more evil and more hate in my mind . i dun see love anymore , not even a bright sky , judgement is made by rumours and fucking fake trust is made by lifeless faggat and guess wat ?? people believe it and they feel happy for it
well wat for being played like this ? i dun wan to be in this way anymore , being a whole time loser ? or seeing who is gonna be the best loser ? day by day the feeling will come back to me , sooner or later i will meet him , he will teach me anything that i wan to learn ........
i cant draw anymore , the touch of that talent is slowly getting away from me , i cant draw .. sooner or later i will not use my name as SAM LAU KING SUM , or im not gonna care wat people call me by names , i just dun wan to admit and i am always alone. there's no light or laughter just that the things that i do will not success , why ?? i keep asking and asking , but yet i still cannot find the answer
Thursday, September 11, 2008
a dull day for me ~
well out of a sudden feeling like blog , but there was nothing about in my mind , just tired, woke up early this morning to refresh my mind for my moral exams.
After school , did'nt went lunch with boon khit and friends . some unwanted people are there , anyway i walk my friend home as usual and had a nice nap on the floor
i look terrible , just imagine to wake up 4am and end up like this in the afternoon
haha taking nap also can camwhore arr ?? lols lots of people said that to me , but think at the bright side i take this picture with my eyes close and get that angle right ?? haha im pro , but nothing to be proud of , just a normal kid that have nothing to do in the afternoon ..
i wanted to blog like my friend's style well pictures are more than a thousand words .. anyway im not that creative in words but i will always be improoving myself.
Anyway the weather is crazy recently , i hope all my friends out there just to take care of themselves , drink more water and keep ur health in good state ^^
After school , did'nt went lunch with boon khit and friends . some unwanted people are there , anyway i walk my friend home as usual and had a nice nap on the floor
i look terrible , just imagine to wake up 4am and end up like this in the afternoon
haha taking nap also can camwhore arr ?? lols lots of people said that to me , but think at the bright side i take this picture with my eyes close and get that angle right ?? haha im pro , but nothing to be proud of , just a normal kid that have nothing to do in the afternoon ..
i wanted to blog like my friend's style well pictures are more than a thousand words .. anyway im not that creative in words but i will always be improoving myself.
Anyway the weather is crazy recently , i hope all my friends out there just to take care of themselves , drink more water and keep ur health in good state ^^
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
september 10 , a change for now and then
seriously rumours and conflict have to be stopped , i've enough already. i've lost a friend for my mistakes , and now u're happy coz i dun think that its worth to loose a friend becoz of a girl , that just sounds sucks man .
and life goes on , if u think that blaming me and flame my name is a nice thing to do , then do it , coz i dun really have much friends out there . GO on , since u think that both of our misery have to be share with so many of ur friends out there . i dun mind coz i dun really care . well i hope u can think back of ur feelings which takes actions but not ur brain , i just felt sad for that .
for friends , trust is a golden key to every relationship , no trust no friend , no trust no love no trust no girlfriend. its easy , even my dad no trust which means no dad , but wat to do since his sperm produced me , wat can i do ? i just have to call him as ''dad'' just for his name same thing as for a buddy ranking , he is the one who drop my rank from ponteng buddy to friend and now no more , long gone ~
but wat can i do with ur jelousness , its just keeps goes on , no matter i give u so many advice that can help u in ur thing . now since u cut it , and its over for the friendship that last for that 3 years . well good bye , since u think that everything is much better for u
lastly , rumours making are just for lifeless people who dun really have a life so just get that sense of urs to trust anyone , why trust rumours ?? the TRUTH is the thing that u need to know , open ur eyes
and life goes on , if u think that blaming me and flame my name is a nice thing to do , then do it , coz i dun really have much friends out there . GO on , since u think that both of our misery have to be share with so many of ur friends out there . i dun mind coz i dun really care . well i hope u can think back of ur feelings which takes actions but not ur brain , i just felt sad for that .
for friends , trust is a golden key to every relationship , no trust no friend , no trust no love no trust no girlfriend. its easy , even my dad no trust which means no dad , but wat to do since his sperm produced me , wat can i do ? i just have to call him as ''dad'' just for his name same thing as for a buddy ranking , he is the one who drop my rank from ponteng buddy to friend and now no more , long gone ~
but wat can i do with ur jelousness , its just keeps goes on , no matter i give u so many advice that can help u in ur thing . now since u cut it , and its over for the friendship that last for that 3 years . well good bye , since u think that everything is much better for u
lastly , rumours making are just for lifeless people who dun really have a life so just get that sense of urs to trust anyone , why trust rumours ?? the TRUTH is the thing that u need to know , open ur eyes
Thursday, September 4, 2008
september 4
well nothing much about today , but i feel that having dinner in ming tien with my pal boon khit . we felt kind a bored already , seriously , dunno wat to eat . the things we eat kind a lifeless and all the worker also know wat we gona call .
haih stupid boon khit freaking maths freak !! gonaa score 100% GO DIE LA ! but potong steam !~ haah he is careless and he is damn careless and great news !! A1 but no 100% for U ~
oi bk la ~ damn noisy la u ~ dun repeat the same thing u say la ! du lan edii la haha haha joking edii man !! dun wake up with tai chi la ! i feel de wind k !
just feel damn lifeless but have to study , haha i got pictures man bk and you dun have !! dun du lan me hahahahaaa
haih stupid boon khit freaking maths freak !! gonaa score 100% GO DIE LA ! but potong steam !~ haah he is careless and he is damn careless and great news !! A1 but no 100% for U ~
oi bk la ~ damn noisy la u ~ dun repeat the same thing u say la ! du lan edii la haha haha joking edii man !! dun wake up with tai chi la ! i feel de wind k !
just feel damn lifeless but have to study , haha i got pictures man bk and you dun have !! dun du lan me hahahahaaa
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
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